


Love like Hill

by Blake_Belladonna_Defence_Force



Category: RWBY
Genre: Best Friends to Lovers, F/F, Idiots to lovers... again, The only one with a functioning braincell is Robyn Hill, and even then she has to share with her polycule, fake dating au, game show au
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-23
Updated: 2021-03-09
Packaged: 2021-03-13 16:07:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 9,116
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29653842
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Blake_Belladonna_Defence_Force/pseuds/Blake_Belladonna_Defence_Force
Summary: Blake Belladonna leads a simple life with little drama... apart from the teensy, tiny issue of her being in love with her best friend and roommate; Yang Xiao Long.But it’s not bother. Not really... at least it isn’t until said best friend and roommate signs them up for Love like Hill, a competitive game show for couples hosted by Robyn Hill, Joanna Greenleaf, May Marigold and Fiona Thyme.Now Blake finds herself having to play a role that cruelly gives her a taste of what she can never truly have. The question is... can she handle it? Or will this love be like hell?
Relationships: Blake Belladonna/Yang Xiao Long
Comments: 61
Kudos: 273





	1. Stage 1; getting to know you

**Author's Note:**

> A major thanks to the Bumblebuds for helping out with this one. Thanks to them... this au is fully formed and just waiting to be written.
> 
> Thanks for your incredible ideas, guys. Its really helped to figure out this au 💛

“Yang? Sunshine? Cherished friend that I have immense love and respect for?”

Yang gulps. She knows that voice. She knows that tone. She’d heard it often enough when her best friend and roommate had been pushed too far in the past. Now though… For a brief moment, she considers jumping out of her window and into the rose bushes below, thorns be damned.

“Yang?”

Yang sighs. “Yes, Blake? Friend? Buddy? Pal that I love and admire?”

“Could you please come here?  _ Now?” _

Yang sighs  _ heavily _ and stands up from her bed and trudges towards Blake’s office. She steps into the room, knocking lightly against the door as she enters and watches as Blake slowly spins around in her chair. Her legs are crossed and she’s resting her elbow on the arm of her chair, palm cupping her jaw as she stares at Yang with an unamused expression on her face. Yang fidgets awkwardly. “Um… is something wrong?”

“No… no, nothings  _ wrong,  _ Yang. Not  _ really.” _ Blake says slowly, even as her eyes narrow and her ears tilt back. Everything about her voice and body language spells danger and Yang can’t help but swallow nervously. “I’m just curious as to why I just got an email from Robyn fucking Hill about me and my  _ lovely girlfriend  _ successfully being accepted into her game show. It’s called Love like Hill and… I don’t recall applying for it.” Blake looks up at Yang, her voice sounding a little  _ too _ sweet as she stands up and walks up to her, arms folded neatly behind her back as she looks up at her. “Likewise… I don’t know who this  _ lovely girlfriend _ they speak of is… would you happen to know,  _ Yang?” _

“Uh.” Yang says in a perfect display of eloquence. She swallows thickly and tries very hard not to think about the way Blake’s eyes shift from amber to molten gold. Tries not to think about Blake pressing close and pushing her against a wall. She tries not to pay too much attention to the way Blake’s lips curl into an AMA used frown and she certainly tries to pay little attention to the urge she has to kiss that frown away. “Maybe?”

“Maybe?”

“Okay… so… promise you won’t be mad—“

“Oh honey… we’re well past that.” Blake drawls, arching a brow as she crosses her arms and stares at Yang, stepping closer and tilting her head back to keep eye contact with her. “What did you do, Yang?”

“There’s this game show—“

“I gathered.”

“And there’s this huge cash prize for first place. Half of it goes to the winners and the other half goes to a charity of the winners’ choice.” Yang says with an awkward little laugh. She smiles hopefully at Blake, pleadingly, as her friend stares blankly back at her. “I thought that it’d be kinda cool to enter and try to win? It’s for a good cause!”

“A good cause— Yang! It’s a  _ couples  _ game show. For  _ couples.  _ Last time I checked… we’re not a couple!” Blake groans, dropping her face into her hands with a frustrated groan. “This is… one of the  _ worst  _ ideas that you’ve ever had.”

“Come on! It could be fun. We work great together and we know all there is to know about each other. We have a great chance of winning!”

“If we get caught—“

“We won’t get caught.” Yang soothes, instinctively reaching out for Blake’s hands and squeezing them, smiling softly at her when Blake looks up at her with what can only be described as fond exasperation. “Come on. We win and get money for charity  _ and _ we get to spoil ourselves. All we have to do is pretend that we’re in love and bang, it’s ours. C’mon… what do you say?”

“... God, I hate it when you use the puppy dog eyes on me.” Blake mutters, closing her eyes and sighing loudly. She opens her eyes, grunting irritably when Yang juts out her bottom lip in a pout and pulls a hand free to point at her. “Fine! But I’m only doing this for the charity thing— and I get to choose what charity it goes to!”

“Yes! I knew I could count on you!”

Yang grins and wraps her arms around Blake’s shoulders in a tight hug, laughing softly as she grumbles into Yang’s shoulder, even as she wraps her arms around Yang’s waist to return the hug. 

“How long do we have to prepare?”

“Dunno. Let me check.”

Yang lets go and waits patiently as Blake returns to her computer. She winces when Blake freezes and slowly turns to face her, her eyes narrowed and her ears pinned back angrily.

“We only have  _ one week?! Yang Xiao Long!” _

This, admittedly… could have gone better.

Perhaps entering a couple’s game show with the best friend that she’s secretly been in love with for years… wasn’t the smartest move on Yang’s part.

But how bad can it really be?

* * *

“Welcome to this season of Love like Hill, where we see just how well five seemingly compatible couples truly work together. My name’s Robyn Hill and I’ll be your main host for the evening.” 

Blake arches a brow at the woman sitting across from her and shifts in her seat a little. Her hands fidget with the black dress vest she wears over a lilac button down and she runs her hand nervously through her hair. She can’t say she’s  _ happy  _ about pretending to date Yang, especially when taking into consideration that she had fallen for her long ago… but it was for a good cause. She glances at Yang and sighs softly, biting her lip as she lets her gaze drift over the yellow summer dress that Yang had chosen to wear and smiling at the purple flannel she had wrapped around her waist.

_ Typical Yang. _

Robyn glances at her and smiles, her lips curling into a mischievous smirk that immediately has Blake on edge. “First up… we have stage one; Getting to know you. This is the section where I take each of our contestants into a room and interrogate them. Now since we’ve already filmed that… how about we take a look at how Yang Xiao Long and Blake Belladonna, our resident baby gays, answered, shall we?”

Blake scoffs, crossing her arms and sneering as they all turn to face a small screen showcasing her and Robyn sitting on a flamboyant pink loveseat.

* * *

“So… Blake. Are you ready to begin?”

“Not in the slightest.”

“Ooh… I see. Yang’s the one that dragged you here, huh, Fancy-Pants?” Robyn says with a smug grin, draping one of her arms across the back of the seat. Her suit jacket shifts across her shoulders and she quickly readjusts it before tapping her leg with the cue cards held in her free hand. “Let me guess… those pretty lilac eyes are your weakness, huh, kid? Don’t worry… everybody’s a little weak for their  _ partner’s  _ eyes.”

“Sure.”

“Giving me great material to work with. Thank you.” Robyn deadpans, turning to the camera and rolling her eyes with a soft laugh. “Okay… let’s get this show on the road. First question for you, Blake… if your girlfriend could be married to a movie star… who would it be and why?”

“Easy.” Blake says, coughing to cover up the way her voice squeaks anxiously at the mention of her “girlfriend.” She clears her throat and runs her hands nervously over her pants, brushing off dust and shrugging as she looks at Robyn. “Yang’s always had a massive celebrity crush on Glynda Goodwitch. I think it’s the milf vibes.”

“Is it? Or is it the riding crop she welds in Huntsmen 2?”

“Could be both.” Blake laughs, hiding her smirk with her hand. A part of her feels bad for embarrassing Yang… but her friend really should have been prepared for that. “That does happen to be her favourite movie.”

“Uh-huh… I’m sure you know all about her favourites. Tell me… does the fascination with the riding crop come into play at home or…?”

Blake freezes, her cheeks beginning to burn as she stutters and stumbles over her words. She laughs awkwardly, her ears pinning back against her head as she pointedly looks away from Robyn and away from the camera, knowing all too well that her face had gone bright red. “No comment?”

“I see.” Robyn says, sounding far too amused for Blake’s liking. When she shifts her cue cards, Blake turns back to her and has to bite back an irritated growl at the sight of Robyn’s smirk, far too self satisfied in Blake’s humble opinion. “Next question; if Yang could change one thing about you… what would it be and why?”

“I have this tendency to… uh… to overwork myself?” Blake says through another awkward laugh, shuffling uncomfortably when Robyn arches a brow at her. “I mean… I try to spend as much time as I can with my loved ones but I get into it, y’know? Back when we were in college… Yang had to legit pick me up and carry me out of the library because I wouldn’t sleep or eat during finals. I fell asleep on her more times than I can count.” She finishes with a small, nonchalant shrug, smiling softly as she recalls those early years of their friendship.

“My fiancé’s the same way. I’ve dragged her out of her office too many times so I sympathise with Yang.” Robyn reaches over and gently smacks Blake’s shoulder with her cue cards, grinning when Blake yelps indignantly. “Stop scaring your girlfriend, Lover Girl.”

“Uh- yeah. Yep. That’s- I’ll try to- yes.” Blake mutters, desperately hoping that her face isn’t as red as it feels. “Stop scaring my girl-girlfriend. Got it.”

“Hm.” Robyn hums softly, thoughtfully, before turning back to cards and shuffling them once more. “Okay… well… you already told us what Yang’s favourite movie is so we can skip that one. Oh! Here’s a good one to end on… is Yang a good kisser?”

Blake freezes once more, her heart racing as a memory begins to play in her mind, a memory from their college days that she recalls as clear as day.

* * *

**_6 years ago, during college…_ **

_ “God. I can’t fucking believe that asshole just kissed me. At least he won’t forget me with that freshly broken nose, I guess.” _

_ Blake laughs, hiding her smile when Yang shoots her a foul look before returning to washing her mouth out with beer, pretending to gag every so often whenever they hear Cardin’s voice from inside the house. “I feel bad for you. Cardin? I mean… of all the guys—“ _

_ “I know! I can’t— bleh. I’m going to have nightmares about that.” Yang shudders, turning to Blake and sitting on the steps to Sun’s house with a heavy sigh. She playfully bumps Blake’s shoulder, grinning down at her and wiggling her eyebrows playfully. “You know… you could always help me wash away his kiss with yours, Belladonna.” _

_ “Oh! Is that so?” Blake says with a surprised little laugh, glancing away as she takes a sip of her beer. She bites her lip and, turning back to Yang with a soft smirk, reaches out to poke her nose. “Just a kiss, huh? No strings attached?” _

_ “Absolutely none.” Yang murmurs softly, her grin softening as Blake lets out a thoughtful hum. “Just a kiss.” _

_ “... well… if it’s just a kiss with no strings attached…” _

_ Blake reaches over with her free hand and pinches Yang’s chin between her finger and thumb, carefully pulling her closer and pressing their lips together in a soft kiss. Yang doesn’t touch her, merely letting Blake take the lead and letting out a soft hum when Blake tilts her head to one side before slowly pulling back. Blake lingers for a single moment, her mouth tingling and her heart racing, as their noses bump together and they let out a soft laugh, breaths mingling in between them. “So… was that better?” _

_ “So much better.” _

_ Blake swallows hard and pulls back, returning to her beer and gazing up at the night sky. _

_ It was just a kiss, no strings attached… _

_ Wasn’t it? _

* * *

_ “Oh yeah. Yeah, Yang’s- Yang’s a good kisser. She’s- yeah. Without a doubt, she’s a good kisser.” _

Back with Yang and Robyn… Blake finds herself shuffling in her seat as Yang turns to her with darkened cheeks and a small, nervous smile that she quickly tries to hide behind a smirk. The screen had paused on Blake looking away and shrugging, her cheeks slowly turning pink as she answered Robyn’s last question. 

“That’s really gay, babe.”

Robyn snorts and when Blake looks over at her, there’s a knowing expression crossing her face as she leans forward and cocks a brow at Yang. “Well, Muscles. If you’re so eager to have your voice heard… how well did Blake do in answering her questions?”

“Uh.”

Blake huffs when Yang falters, smirking lightly now that  _ someone else  _ is in the hot seat. 

“She did great.” Yang says honestly, turning back to Blake with a warm smile that certainly doesn’t help matters. She reaches out and takes Blake’s hand, threading their fingers together and squeezing gently as she lets out a small, shy laugh. “She’s right— I hate how she overworks herself but I get that work is important to her. I just wish she wouldn’t sacrifice her own health for it sometimes.” Yang shrugs and the audience croons at her, all while Blake remains distracted by the thumb caressing her knuckles tenderly. “I would absolutely marry Glynda Goodwitch— but not because of the milf thing or the damn riding crop!” Yang adds in a soft and playful growl, turning to glare at Blake as she shrugs. “Seriously? I don’t- you’re such a lil twerp.”

“But that’s why you love your  _ girlfriend,  _ right?” Robyn pipes up with a sly smirk, watching them both carefully as they stiffen. “I mean… I assume that’s why you’re a couple? Because you love her attitude problem?”

“Yes? I mean… yes! Blake’s attitude is the first thing that attracted me to her!” Yang says, her voice pitching slightly and her fingers tightening around Blake’s hand as her anxiety flares. Concerned, Blake brushes her thumb along Yang’s skin and offers her a gentle, reassuring smile when Yang turns to her. “Among other things.” Yang murmurs, her expression softening slightly.

“Right… good. Well… let’s see how Yang answered, shall we?”

* * *

“If possible… what could Blake eat every day and never get tired of it?”

“Starting off easy.” Yang snorts, crossing her legs and smirking at Robyn as the older woman arches a curious brow at her. “Blake would absolutely eat a tuna casserole every day if she could. See, it’s something her mum used to make for her all of the time as a kid so it’s got a lot of good memories attached to it. I actually tried to make it for her this one time but uh… it didn’t go well.”

“I’m sure she appreciated the gesture, Fisticuffs.” Robyn retorts, chuckling softly as she gives Yang an odd look. “So… tell me, Yang… if Blake were to go to jail… what would she be going to jail for?”

“Uh… is being illegally cute a thing? Because trust me… it should be.” Yang laughs, grinning victoriously to herself when the audience coo. So far… so good. “But for real… Blake would probably get into trouble for hacking into a rich asshole’s account and spreading his riches to those that need it or something.”

“Take from the rich and give to the poor. I can understand that.” Robyn chuckles, reaching up to adjust her tie with a soft smirk. “Does she have a favourite cuss word?”

“Oh my Go- okay. Okay. Okayokayokay.” Yang says quickly, leaning forward and pointing at Robyn emphatically as she grins. “Look… I know Blake looks all cute and precious and like butter wouldn’t melt in her mouth… but I  _ promise  _ you that that girl has an utterly  _ filthy _ mouth. There’s not a sailor on earth that can curse as much as she can. Blake Belladonna can and will cuss you out. But her favourite curse? It’s gotta be fuck.”

“Can’t go wrong with a good fuck.”

Yang snorts, covering her mouth as she snickers.

“Who’s Blake’s celebrity crush?”

“Uhhh… oh God. Sorry, babe.” Yang says with a grin to the camera, winking playfully and giggling softly. 

_ “She’s gonna kill me for this… but her celebrity crush is none other than our very own Robyn Hill.” _

* * *

“Hmm… seems like somebody’s got a thing for blondes with purple eyes.”

Blake lets out an anguished moan, her cheeks burning as she drops her face into her hands. She grumbles incoherently as Yang snickers and wraps an arm around her shoulders and it takes all of her willpower not to pout and brush her off. “You’re the  _ worst.” _

“Relax, Princess. We’re just teasing you. You’re a little too young for me, anyway.” Robyn comments airily, smirking and winking playfully at Blake when she lifts her head up to glare at the older woman. “Now to ask you both a couple questions. Ready?”

“No.”

“Hell yeah!”

Robyn snorts and gives Blake an odd look that she doesn’t quite know how to interpret. “How long have you been together?”

“Four years.” Yang chirps, turning to plant a kiss to Blake’s cheek, ignoring the startled squeak that Blake lets out. “We started dating after we left college.”

“And you can still get Blake to blush like that over a simple kiss on the cheek? My, my. You two have something pretty special…  _ don’t you?”  _ Robyn says with a low chuckle, smirking slyly at them both as Blake squints suspiciously at her. “Okay… where was your partner born?”

“Patch.”

“Menagerie.”

“Eh, easy enough. Okay… here’s a good one to end this interview on… when did you know that you loved your partner? Blake? You wanna go first, kid?”

“Oh.” Blake swallows hard, looking down at her lap and letting out a soft, nervous giggle as everyone turns to face her. She blows out an anxious breath, focusing on her breathing and smiles at Robyn. “When we first moved in together after college… I was having a really hard time. I wasn’t in the best of mindsets back then, having spent a good year in a, to be brutally frank, shitty relationship in college. I was having a bad day, a really bad day, and I couldn’t get out of bed. But then… this one—“ She pauses to look at Yang and her smile softens, her stomach flipping. “— comes into my room and she just… has this bag of books that she knows I love. I tell her I don’t have the energy to read so she crawls into bed with me, pulls me to her chest and she- she reads to me. That’s what she does- she spends the entire day reading to me, even when she could have been doing literally anything else. She just reads to me and holds me and plays with my hair until I fall asleep in her arms.” Blake blinks, looking away from Yang and smiling quietly to herself, knowing that there’s more truth to her words than Yang will ever know. “She made me feel so… important. I knew then that I loved her because I realised that there was no other place safer than her arms and no sound as beautiful as her voice.”

The crowd coos and when Blake looks around, she can see a couple of people wiping their eyes. She laughs awkwardly and shrugs, turning to Robyn and freezing at the sharp line of her smile and the mischievous gleam in her eyes. 

There’s no way that she knows… right?

“Very beautiful, Blake. We love to see supportive partners on this show.” Robyn comments, smirking as she turns to Yang. “Alright, Tough Guy. What about you?”

“Uh… definitely nowhere near as sweet as Blake’s.” Yang mutters, rubbing the back of her neck and smiling awkwardly. Her cheeks flush and she laughs, glancing at Blake and sighing heavily. “Fine. It was when I walked into our living room and caught you and Ruby asleep on the couch. See… my little sister had been having a rough time with this really bitchy girl in her class so we invited her over. By the time I got back home from work, Blake had reassured Ruby and comforted her. They were all snuggled up and Blake was holding Ruby in this… really maternal way. Like… you could just see how much she cared for my sister, y’know? I think it was then that I decided I love Blake… when I saw how much she values the other important person in my life. Like… just knowing that she cares about what’s important to me? That did me in, man.”

Blake inhales deeply and forces herself to remember that it’s an act. It’s all an act. Yang doesn’t actually feel that way about her. It’s not real…

But  _ God _ , does she wish it were.

“Lovely… well, ladies, why don’t you step back into the viewing room as we interview the rest of our contestants?”

They nod and make their way back, hands entwined until they collapse onto one of the loveseats with a loud groan.

“God, this is the  _ worst. _ Why did I think that pretending to be in love with you was a good idea?”

The words hit hard and Blake tries not to flinch.

This… really wasn’t going to end well… was it?

* * *

_ “So… Willow… is your husband a good kisser?” _

_ “No.” _

_ “... wow. No hesitation for Atlas’s Elite, huh?” _

“I would have hesitated about that proposal if I were her.” Yang comments in Blake’s ear, smirking when Blake snorts a laugh and smacks her thigh. “What? Would you have said yes?”

“Probably… only to put arsenic in his drink or divorce the fucker and take him for everything he has.”

* * *

_ “Tell me, Ghira…” _

“MY PARENTS ARE IN THIS THING?!” Blake yelps, staring in horror at the plasma TV screen as her father turns to her mother with a disgustingly lovey smile. “Oh my God- no! Why me!”

“Could you perhaps show some decorum?”

“I’ll decor your rum, Schnee.” Blake growls, turning to glare sharply at where Jacques stands beside a bored looking Willow. “Oh my God, Yang. I’m going to die.”

“Uh… maybe they can help?”

Blake groans and buries her face in her hands, wondering what fresh hell Yang had gotten her into.

* * *

_ “Alright, Ninja Warrior. What’s Nora’s favourite curse word.” _

_ “All of them.” _

_ “Uh… I mean… can we pick one—“ _

_ “All. Of. Them.” _

“Well… they’re  _ honest _ at least.”

Blake nearly whines at the sound of her mother’s voice, cringing as her mother looks over at her with a knowing smirk.

“Mother, please.”

* * *

_ “Neptune… when did you figure out you loved your partner?” _

_ “Oh, dude… I knew I loved my boyfriend—“ _

_ “VASILIAS! I DID NOT PRETEND TO BE STRAIGHT JUST FOR YOU TO BLOW THIS FOR US!” _

_ “Welp… looks like we got our first disqualification, folks, on account of these two not actually being a couple! Let’s hope that nobody else is faking a relationship, hm?” _

Blake and Yang’s laughter cuts off at Robyn’s words and they turn to give each other panicked glances. If they can’t sell this…

Then they’re doomed.


	2. Intermission

“Uh… since when was our daughter dating Blake?”

“She isn’t.” Summer sighs softly as the screen slowly fades to black and the intermission starts. She shakes her head fondly, smiling quietly to herself before turning to Tai with an arched brow. “You  _ know  _ Yang talks to me about Blake. There’s no way in  _ hell  _ that she would have been able to keep a relationship secret from me.”

“I guess not. But she’s really not being subtle.” Tai snorts, reaching for the popcorn and playfully throwing a kernel at Summer as he grins. “Look at her. She’s love-struck. How does Blake not know that she’s not acting?”

“Because they’re young and stupid.” Summer pauses for a moment, turning to glance back at her husband with a soft smirk. “Yang gets her disaster zone bullshit from you, hun. If Yang had taken after me, she and Blake would be  _ married  _ by now.”

“I wasn’t that bad!”

“I asked you out to dinner and you invited not only Raven and Qrow but also your entire basketball team because you thought it was a “friendly hang out session,” you lovable moron.”

“I- you should have been more clear!”

“How much clearer can I get than “Hey! I think you’re hot! We should go out some time”, Tai?”

“I thought you meant it as a friend!”

“You, my dear…” Summer giggles as she leans over to kiss the corner of Tai’s pouting mouth. “Are the token bimbo of this family.”

///

“Hey, Ilia—“

“Woooow, Blake.” Ilia says with a smirk, glancing down at Pyrrha as she resituates herself across her lap, her gaze still directed at the tv screen as they cut to the intermission. “For somebody that’s totally not in love with Yang, the sexual tension between you two is fucking unbelievable. I had no idea you knew how to act so—“ Her scroll clicks and she pulls it away to stare at it in shock before slowly turning to give her girlfriend an utterly offended look. “That gay bitch just hung up on me!”

“To be fair, darling, you were teasing her.”

“Not at all.” Ilia grins, gently poking Pyrrha’s nose as she giggles up at her. “I was merely expressing my admiration for her “acting” capabilities. It’s very impressive, babe. She and Yang should go into acting after they win this thing… though I’m pretty sure that Robyn knows that they’re faking. I wonder why she isn’t saying anything?”

“Angel… sweetheart, darling… love of my life…” Pyrrha drawls softly, her green eyes sparkling with mischief as she reaches up to cup Ilia’s jaw lovingly. “I love you so,  _ so  _ much… but we both know Ren and Nora are going to win.”

“Uh… no? There is no way in  _ hell  _ they have any chance of beating my girls. The only people that even stand a chance are Blake’s parents.” 

“You doubt my friends?”

“Not at all. I’m just saying that your friends are going to have their asses kicked by mine.”

“Oh.” Pyrrha chuckles, smirking that god’s forsaken smirk that always made Ilia feel a little weak around the knees. “Then how about we make this a little more interesting?”

“Oh… you’re so on!”

///

_ “VASILIAS! I DID NOT PRETEND TO BE STRAIGHT JUST FOR YOU TO BLOW THIS FOR US!” _

Winter arches her brow from where she sits with her legs tucked beneath her, her fingers loosely wrapped around the singular glass of wine that she allowed herself per night. She cocks her head at the screen, her brow furrowing at the sight of her younger sister screeching furiously at a young man with striking blue hair. 

“Since when were you a lesbian, little sister?” She murmurs thoughtfully to herself. With a soft hum, she glances down at the green shirt she had stolen from her fiancé and she feels a slow smile cross her face, helpless to the memories that had led to it being held tightly within her possession… much to her partner’s playful chagrin. “I suppose there must be something in the water back in Atlas. Though… this might be a sign that I really need to get back in contact with my brother and sister.”

She takes a drink, snorting to herself quietly as Weiss and her “boyfriend” are led off stage as another occurs to her and she frowns, staring into her drink with a confused stare…

“Now what on earth possessed Mother and Father to take part in this horrendous show?”

///

“Young master Whitley… I remain confused as to how your parents wound up applying for this show.”

“That’s simple, Klein… I signed them up.”

“... and why would you do that?”

“For perfectly legitimate reasons.”

///

_ “... take a look at how Yang Xiao Long and…” _

Raven chokes on her whiskey, coughing as it goes down the wrong pipe, and turns to stare at the tv resting above the bar, her red eyes going wide at the sight of two young women sitting in front of Robyn Hill. She pays no mind to the shorter one, her gaze locking onto the taller, broader woman. With blonde hair and a foolish grin that reminds her far too much of the past… Yang turns to her partner with a lilac gaze that’s full of adoration and devotion, an expression so similar to the one that Tai had worn for Raven all those years ago…

“What… the fuck?” Raven mutters quietly to herself, squinting at the screen as it cuts away to Blake’s interview. “I don’t think she was even old enough to be dating yet. How old is she now? Shouldn’t she still be in high school?”

_ “Is it? Or is it the riding crop she welds in Huntsmen 2?” _

Raven scrunches up her nose in distaste. She clearly wasn’t drunk enough to be dealing with any of this.

///

On the other side of that same bar, far out of eyesight of his twin sister, Qrow Branwen glances up at the screen and scoffs to himself fondly, a slow smirk crossing his face as he watches his niece flounder over the girl sitting beside her.

“Fucking Xiao Longs all have the same type.” He grunts, chuckling quietly under his breath when Yang begins to stutter and stumble under Robyn Bill’s watchful gaze. “Holy- goddamn it, Firecracker. You’re just as much of a dumbass as Tai and Raven were.”

With a nod, he orders another drink… completely oblivious to the fact that one of those dumbasses is, in fact, closer than he thought.


	3. Stage 2; Working in the Kitchen

“... shit.”

“What’s wrong?”

Blake groans, ignoring the sharp glare Jacques shoots her, and turns to Yang with a miserable frown, her ears tilting back against her head unhappily. “Ilia’s watching the damn show.” She mutters softly, glancing towards the hall outside of the viewing room. She can hear people moving about, most likely preparing the set for the next portion of the show, and she sighs heavily. “She just called me so she can be a brat. Remind me why I love that girl?”

“Oh. That’s awkward. Glad nobody I know watches this show.” Yang says lightly, grinning awkwardly at Blake as she taps her hands against her thighs in a nervous tic. “And you two have been friends since you were kids. Don’t act like you don’t adore her, Blake.”

Blake grunts irritably, falling back into the couch and sighing forlornly as Yang falls into an awkward silence. Slowly, she glances around the room and observes the  _ actual  _ couples surrounding them; Ghira and Kali are talking quietly amongst themselves, with Kali cradling Ghira’s large hand in between her own two. The sight makes Blake smile fondly, her expression softening at the sight of a love that hadn’t changed much since she was a little girl. A glance at Ren and Nora shows the other young couple talking animatedly… or at least, Nora is. Ren’s watching quietly, a gentle expression on his face as he watches his girlfriend and occasionally ducking under a flailing hand when she gets over excited about something. The Schnees, meanwhile, are sitting as far apart as they can, with Willow gazing disinterestedly around the room as Jacques stares imperiously at what he surely believes to be the “lesser crowd.”

_ ‘If nothing else… at least I get the chance to see this asshole humiliated on live tv in person.’  _ Blake thinks to herself, jumping slightly when Yang’s arm brushes her own.

“Sorry!”

“You’re fine!”

Blake’s ear twitches when her mother snorts and she turns to glare at her, her eyes narrowing when her mother’s lips curl into a knowing smirk. 

“It’s rather sweet that you two are still so nervous and fluttery around each other, even after  _ four years of dating. _ ” Kali comments, arching a brow at Blake and laughing softly when Ghira sighs loudly. “I expect it’ll take another four for you to even think about proposing at this rate and I dread to think about how old I’ll be when you start thinking about giving me some grandbabies.”

Blake stiffens, pointedly looking away from her parents to stare stubbornly at the far wall. Her ears tilt back against her head and her fingers curl into the fabric of her pants as Yang lets out a cough. Her eyes squeeze shut and she finds herself hoping,  _ praying,  _ that this will all be over soon.

She isn’t sure how much longer she can keep pretending that Yang loves her.

* * *

  
  


“And now we come the the second stage of the show were we’ll see just how well our couples work together in the kitchen. My co-host for this segment will be the ever lovely Joanna Greenleaf.”

Joanna nods, stepping forward and crossing her arms as she looks at each cooking station, her lips twitching at the sight of nervous couples and arrogant smirks. Blake swallows thickly and shares a nervous glance with Yang. They had never been…  _ the greatest…  _ when it comes to cooking.

“Each pair will have the opportunity to impress us with a dish of their choosing.” Joanna says calmly, nodding towards the stack of ingredients available to the contestants. “You will have one hour to accomplish your task and I assure you no extra time will be granted. Best of luck to you, contestants.”

“Please.” Jacques scoffs, tilting his nose up at Joanna and sneering at his fellow contestants in a way that makes Blake’s skin crawl. “My wife and I hardly need  _ luck. _ ”

“You barely even know what a fucking toaster is!”

Blake’s brows arch as she looks into the audience and spots a head of white hair standing up and shouting at Jacques Schnee before being tugged back down into her seat by an unknown hand. Blake feels a small smirk cross her face as she glances over to the Schnees and watches as Jacque face slowly turns beet red, his lips drawn into a thin line as he growls. Willow appears to be suppressing a smile that only falters when her husband turns to glare sharply and, perhaps for the first time, Blake finds herself sympathising within the older woman. Sighing softly, she turns to Yang and shrugs, trying to appear nonchalant instead of nervous as Robyn begins the clock.

“So… think we can manage this?”

“Trust me, baby. I could manage anything as long as I’ve got you.”

Blake stiffens, her skin burning as Yang wraps an arm around her waist and kisses her cheek. It takes longer than she’d like to admit to remember that the cameras are on them, to remember that it’s all an act, and she quickly covers up the sting in her chest with a weak smile as they begin looking through their ingredients to figure out something to present.

They’ve got this… right?”

* * *

“I see that Ren and Nora have opted to bake a cake.” Robyn comments as she and Joanna sidle up to their station. She arches a brow at the array of ingredients before turning to Joanna with a grin, her eyes shining with mischief that makes her co-host sigh wearily. “Speaking of… remember that cake I baked for our first anniversary?”

“I try not to.”

Robyn snorts, smacking Joanna’s arm with the back of her hand when she smirks at her softly. She turns to the young couple and tucks her hands into her pockets as she offers them a smile and a curious glance. “You kids wanna tell us what kind of cake we can expect?”

“You’ll just have to wait and see!” Nora says enthusiastically, grinning wildly as she slams an electric mixer onto the counter top. 

Instinctively, Joanna and Robyn step back and exchange a concerned glance. Whatever happens next might be good for ratings… but it might not be so good for insurance.

* * *

“Well… what are you waiting for?”

“What do you  _ mean what am I waiting for, Jacques?!”  _ Willow hisses, turning to her husband with a foul glare as he crosses his arms and stares at her expectantly. “In case you haven’t realised… we’re in the middle of a competition? Surely you understand that you actually have to participate?”

“Like he participated in raising his kids? Good luck with that, Mother.”

Robyn bites her cheek to keep a laugh at bay, smirking as Jacques turns to glare furiously out into the audience. Winter had mentioned that Weiss had a mouth on her and Robyn finds herself delighted that she had agreed to let the younger Schnee stay as a member of the audience with her partners. “So… Mum, Dad…” Robyn drawls lazily, grinning smugly when a muscle Jacques’ eye twitches and his jaw tightens. “What’s the plan here?”

“I told you not to call me that.” 

“Just like you told our children. Never change, Jacques.” Willow says bluntly, rolling her eyes at the camera as it pans to her. She glances towards Robyn and shakes her head with a weary, long suffering sigh.

“Aw. Don't be like that, old man.” Robyn says with a wicked grin, suppressing her laugh even as Joanna covers her own with a cough. “We’re all gonna be family soon. Don’t you think that you should be a  _ little  _ nicer to your future daughter-in-law?”

“And her girlfriends.” Joanna adds helpfully, smirking when Jacque’s skin becomes beet red once more. “Don’t forget her girlfriends.”

“How could I forget?” Jacques says through a very obviously forced grin, watching through a sharp glare as Joanna and Robyn walk away with matching smug expressions.

This season was turning out to be rather interesting.

* * *

“And here we have the senior Belladonna woman and her husband.” Robyn comments, chuckling as Kali smirks and glances towards where her daughter and her girlfriend were… not doing so well, if the hushed whispers and general confusion were anything to go by. “How does it feel to be competing against your daughter, Kali?”

“It’s a surprise… but I hope she knows that just because I changed and raised her, it doesn’t mean that motherly sentiment will stop me from beating her—“

“Oh please! You couldn’t beat me if you tried, Mum!”

“I think you should pay more attention to your girlfriend, dear.” Kali grins, her amber eyes sparkling as she points behind Blake towards the stove. “She appears to be accidentally setting the oven on fire.”

“Wha-  _ Yang!  _ How the fuck—“

“I don’t knoooooow! Oh fuck… there’s actual flames— Blake, help!”

“Why the fuck am I in love with you— oh God!”

Robyn blinks and slowly raises a hand to send an unspoken cue to the stage hand. She and Joanna watch in morbid amusement as the two young women back away from the flames coming out of the open oven door as the stage hand, a young man with blonde hair and a monkey tail, rushes past with a fire extinguisher.

“Well…” Joanna says dryly, arching a brow at Robyn as she smirks. “This brings back memories.”

“HEY!”

Both hosts share an amused glance as a voice that sounds suspiciously like their beloved May shouts from backstage, sounding extremely offended… all seeming unaware that the smell of burnt food was sending Blake Belladonna on a trip down memory lane.

* * *

_ Two years ago… _

_ Blake frowns as she glares at the charred remains of what was left of her attempt at breakfast. She isn’t quite sure  _ **_how_ ** _ she managed to utterly decimate eggs, bacon and pancakes but she accomplished it… somehow.  _

_ At least the tea and coffee survived. _

_ “Uh… why does our kitchen look like a fucking battlefield?” _

_ Blake turns around and feels her heart twist violently as Yang shuffles into the kitchen and leans against a counter top, her brow furrowed in confusion as she stares at the mess Blake had made. Her hair is far messier than Blake could ever recall seeing it, dull and lifeless as she neglected it in a way that was highly abnormal for her. Her eyes are dull with heartache, darkened by the bags under her eyes. She looks so hurt, so small and vulnerable, and it takes every ounce of willpower that Blake has to stop herself from tracking down the bitch that broke Yang’s heart and having a little…  _ **_chat_ ** _ with her.  _

_ To think that anybody could willingly hurt somebody as strong and kind and wonderful and  _ **_precious_ ** _ as Yang… Neo had a lot to answer for, in Blake’s humble opinion. _

_ “Um…” Blake says through a nervous chuckle, reaching out with her spatula to poke at the black lump of coal that once been bacon. Her ears tilt backwards in her embarrassment and she shrugs sheepishly, offering Yang an apologetic smile before looking away shamefully. “I… know you’ve been having a hard time these last couple of days and… I know it’s been a little hard for you to work up the energy to make breakfast so… I thought that I’d bring you breakfast in bed?” She says, her voice pitching upwards in her anxiety. She laughs awkwardly, rubbing her arm self consciously as her skin burns with the heat of Yang’s stare. “It… didn’t go to plan. Sorry—“ _

_ Blake’s words are cut off by the feeling of strong arms wrapping around her waist and pulling her into a tight hug. She swallows thickly as Yang buries her face into her shoulder, her body trembling lightly as she lets out a small sniffle and curls her fingers into Blake’s shirt. Blake hesitates for a moment before wrapping her arms around Yang, standing on her tiptoes to curl her arms around her best friend’s shoulders as Yang rides out whatever emotion is overwhelming her right now.  _

_ It hurts, Blake realises. To hear and feel and see Yang suffering from heartbreak.  _

_ “You are… seriously the best friend I could ever ask for. You know that?” Yang says quietly, sniffling as she moves to rest the side of her head against Blake’s shoulder, her breath ghosting over Blake’s neck in far too tantalising of a manner that soon has Blake suppressing a shiver. “You didn’t have to do this. I know cooking’s not your forte… well, at least not in the kitchen.” _

_ “I know… but I wanted to something nice for you since I can’t exactly kick Neo’s scrawny ass.” Blake mutters as she runs her hands up and down Yang’s arms. She sighs heavily and pulls back from Yang to roll her eyes at her with a small, teasing smile and smirks. “It’s  _ **_kind_ ** _ of illegal and I can’t go to jail. I’d miss my best friend too much.” _

_ Yang blinks at her before a small snort of tired amusement leaves her throat and she leans forehead to rest her forehead against Blake’s in an easy mark of affection. “You’re great. Just… you’re great.” Yang murmurs, letting her hands find their way to Blake’s shoulders and squeezing gently as she steps back to wipe her eyes with a soft, self-depreciating laugh. “Um… I don’t think either of us has the energy to cook right now so…” _

_ “We can order something? There’s that place that does those disgusting breakfast burritos you love so much.” _

_ “You hate that place.” _

_ “Yeah… but it’s  _ **_your_ ** _ comfort food so… I’m okay with that.” _

_ “... thanks, Blake.” _

_ It’s a testament to how emotionally drained Yang is that she doesn’t fight Blake on this. Instead, she smiles sadly at her and wanders over to their couch and cocoons herself in her favourite blanket as Blake orders their food, plopping over sideways into her lap when Blake sits beside her. Blake hums softly, worriedly, and begins to gently run her hand through Yang’s hair, carefully untangling it and scratching at her scalp as Yang accepts the gentle comfort with a tired, sad sounding grumble. _

_ This gentle ease between them, the soft affection and the tender trust and care… Blake values it with her life. It isn’t something she wants to take for granted or lose. _

_ So she bites her tongue and tries to lock her love away, determined to never break this bond between them.  _

_ It’d be selfish to ask for anything more. _

* * *

“So… you kids weren’t able to come up with anything, huh?”

Blake shuffles and shrugs in embarrassment, her nose wrinkling as the smell of the fire lingers. An arm wraps around her shoulders and soon, a nose gently nuzzles her temple, lips brushing her skin tenderly as Yang pulls her close with a soft whine.

“I’m sorry, baby. We’ll get ‘em next time, though.”

Blake swallows thickly and closes her eyes, her fingers digging into the counter top as she tries to ignore the pounding of her own heart. She hadn’t expected it to  _ hurt  _ quite so much… to be able to get a taste of what could never be. It  _ hurts  _ and she finds herself wondering just how much longer she has to keep pretending, how much longer she has to fight the emotions that are threatening to bubble up and swallow her whole.

Distantly, she hears Yang respond to Robyn and she hears the hosts wander off to assess the next couple…

But all she can focus on is the feeling of Yang wrapped around her and the steady ache in her own chest when Yang offers her a nervous grin.

This was going to kill her.

* * *

Blake scowls good nateredly as her mother and father are crowned victors of the cooking stage with their “sticky sweet chilli ginger salmon.” But she’s not truly mad, not when her mother laughs and leans into her father’s side with a happy laugh that reminds Blake of her childhood; watching her parents dance around the kitchen and spin each other around as they go about their business.

Far down the line, she can hear Jacques whining about his “culinary masterpiece” only to be interrupted by his daughter yelling from the audience, an occurrence that had become increasingly common and one that Blake found herself greatly amused by.

“It’s a  _ sandwich!  _ And it’s not even a good one! Look at it! It’s falling apart!”

“Hold your tongue, young lady!”

“Or what? You can’t disown and disinherit me twice, Jacques!”

“Oof.” Yang chuckles softly, turning to Blake with a soft smirk and an arched brow. There’s a playful glimmer in her eyes that makes Blake’s chest  _ hurt _ and it takes everything she has not to kiss her. “Think he’s gonna be able to recover from this when it’s all over?”

“Maybe.” 

Blake’s voice sounds small and distant, even to her own ears. There’s a sadness creeping into her tone, a level of heartache that’s slowly becoming impossible to deny. It makes her voice crack and she looks away from Yang to clear her throat, mentally berating herself when Yang turns to her with a worried expression crossing her features.

She knows somethings wrong.

_ Of fucking course she knows something’s wrong. _

That was one of the beautiful parts of their friendship; they could always read one another. They could tell when the other was even slightly off and they both always sought to support one another. Of course Yang would pick up on Blake not being okay.

“Hey… is something wrong? Is- are you okay?”

“I just want to get this over with.” 

Blake mutters, closing her eyes for a moment as she turns away and begins the long walk back to the green room…

Completely oblivious to the hurt expression that crosses Yang’s face as she watches her go.


	4. Intermission Two

Summer snorts, rolling her eyes fondly as she and Tai watch Yang wrap an arm around her  _ “girlfriend”  _ and plant a  _ ridiculously _ tender kiss to her cheek. Blake’s face flushes and her ears tilt back against her head as Yang pulls away, her expression gentle and love struck.

“Hang on… is Blake…?” Summer murmurs softly to herself as she observes her daughter’s best friend and roommate, furrowing her brow worriedly as Blake’s expression crumples for a split second as she catches sight of the camera, the devastation in her eyes flickering away as Blake forces a weak smile. “Oh my  _ God.  _ I think Blake’s in love with Yang.”

“Wha- you think so?” Tai says, turning to Summer with an unsurprisingly surprised expression, his brow furrowed with confusion. “I mean… Yang’s pretty damn clear but Blake—“

“Is also pretty damn clear. Look at her… the way she’s watching Yang, how fluttery and nervous she is… how hurt she looked the moment she spotted the cameras…” Summer sighs, closing her eyes and pinching her nose between her fingers with a soft sigh. “God. This is either going to end really,  _ really  _ well… or end really,  _ really  _ badly, Tai.”

“Yang’s a smart kid. She knows what she’s doing, right?”

“Yes, she is. But she’s also a dumbass with half baked schemes.” Summer snorts, frowning quietly to herself as they turn back towards the t.v with matching concerned expressions as Yang carries the box of ingredients to the table, under the rather watchful eye of one Blake Belladonna as she none too subtly watches the way Yang’s arms move under its weight.

Summer sighs heavily and hopes, for both of their sakes, that Yang does indeed know what she’s doing.

* * *

_ “Noooooo.” _

“Are you whining because it’s a cooking challenge and your friends are destined to lose or because Blake’s clearly struggling?”

“Yes.” Ilia mutters, readjusting herself in her girlfriend’s lap and sighing heavily at the pained expression that crosses Blake’s eyes on screen when she seemingly recalls the existence of the cameras. “God. I can’t tell whether I feel bad for her or if I’m experiencing second hand embarrassment. Maybe both?”

They fall silent for a while, cringing slightly as Nora’s expression becomes a little  _ too  _ excited and snickering as Schnee gets verbally roasted by his own child. But when Yang tries to apologise and reassure Blake, Ilia feels a flash of concern, pulling herself into a seated position as she leans forward on her knees. Blake’s expression contorts for a split second, heartache making its home in her eyes for just a moment before she hides it with a smile. Her worry only grows as, in the last scene, Yang turns with a worried expression and speaks softly into her ear, only for Blake to brush her off and walk away.

That…  _ wasn’t  _ normal for Blake. Not when it comes to Yang Xiao Long.

“I swear to God… if this stunt hurts Blake, I am going to _kill_ Yang.”

* * *

_ “So… Mum, Dad…” _

Winter snorts. Of course  _ Robyn _ would be going out of her way to torment Winter’s parents. Despite her irritation, Winter feels a helplessly fond smile cross her face as she shakes her head, her chest bubbling with warmth as she watches Robyn interact with Joanna, their eyes shining with affection as they gang up on the Schnees.

She’d always found it… endearing, watching Robyn express such compassion and care not only to her partners but also to others. She supposed it’s of the reasons why she had been so drawn to her in the first place; there was something about her selflessness that had been fascinating to Winter… though, perhaps the cheeky curve of her mouth and mischievous gleam in her eyes certainly aided matters.

_ “It’s a sandwich! And it’s not even a good one! Look at it! It’s falling apart!” _

  
  


_ “Hold your tongue, young lady!” _

  
  


_ “Or what? You can’t disown and disinherit me twice, Jacques!” _

Winter suppresses a soft smirk as her sister calls out once more, evidently out of any sort of care now that their father had officially disowned her.

“I am… so proud of that girl.”

* * *

“See, Klein?” Whitley comments with a rather self satisfied smile when the man turns to him with an inquisitive glance. “It’s going  _ exactly  _ as I had planned.”

“I still don’t see how—“

“ _ Exactly as I planned, Klein!” _

* * *

“How the  _ fuck  _ do you set an oven on fire?!” Raven yells, holding her hands up in dismay as she watches her estranged daughter and her partner dance away from the flames leaping out from the oven. “How is a  _ Branwen  _ this incompetent?! Surely your fool of a father brought you up better than that!”

“... Raven? What the fuck are  _ you _ doing here?” A voice comments from behind her, making her freeze in place before slowly turning around to glower at her brother as he scoffs at her, anger and frustration burning in his eyes as he nods to the bartender. “You know… you got a lotta nerve showing up in Vale after what you put this family through. Tai and Summer were  _ fucking wrecked _ when you fucked off to God knows where. And don’t even get me  _ started  _ on what it did to those poor girls of yours.”

“I wrote—“

“Once. To each of us. Because that was your rule, right?” Qrow drawls, moving to sit two bar stools away from her as a fresh whiskey is placed in front of him. “Real kind of you, sis. Just incredible compassion on your end. Real mum of the year material.”

“I have my reasons.” Raven says slowly, purposely ignoring her brother in favour of watching Yang let out a nervously laugh as her partner glares at her. “She turned out alright.”

“Yep.” Qrow snorts, laughing mirthlessly as he stares at the side of her head. “And just how much therapy do you think it took? To help her and Ruby deal with the fact that one of their mums didn’t consider them important enough to stay? That she couldn’t be bothered to at least spare them a moment of her time for a chat every so often? Yeah, those kids turned out great. They’re  _ amazingly  _ kind and gentle, despite the hurt. Something that you clearly know nothing about.”

Raven flinches, even as she keeps her gaze stubbornly averted, her fingers curling around her beer bottle tightly when her brother scoffs derisively at her.

“Congrats, Rae.” Qrow murmurs as he looks down at his drink, his voice far away and distant. “You turned out  _ just  _ like our parents. You must feel  _ really  _ proud of yourself… forcing your kids to cry the exact same tears into their pillows at night that we did.

Raven continues to ignore her brother, pretending that her body doesn’t recoil at the sharp words. She pretends that it doesn’t chip away at her armour. She pretends that guilt doesn’t strike her chest, tearing at old wounds from long, long ago…

Because if she acknowledges any of that… she has to face the fact that he’s right.

**Author's Note:**

> I’ve got a lotta ideas put away for this one so let me know what y’all thought of the first chapter 😁


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